Blink and you're dead

Take radical measures to suffocate strangers

28,121 notes

(I work in a Coffee Shop. I was on break in the lobby when a couple walks in. Directly behind them is a cute little boy in Batman costume.)
Me:
“Oh my God! It’s BATMAN!”
(The boy stops, strikes a pose and starts looking around menacingly. After a few seconds, he approaches the counter.)
Mother:
“Jeff, would you like a chocolate milk?”
Boy:
“I am not Jeff. I am The Batman.”
Mother:
“The Batman, would you like a chocolate milk?”
Boy:
“Yes. Yes, The Batman would.”
(The couple pays while the boy sits down with his chocolate milk. He keeps a stern look on his face as he sips the drink.)
Boy:
*sips* “Gotham is safe.”

16,207 notes

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Don't cha wish your users were always online.
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Facebook:
Stop. This isn't funny anymore.
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DON'T CHA